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Shy

A safe place to vent & seek understanding. Broken.

RIP Chester Bennington 

I think I’m still in shock… I just can’t believe it 😦 I grew up listening to Linkin Park, they were my favourite. Apparently he died on Chris Cornells birthday, they were close friends… 😦 

I feel lost and so heartbroken… such a shame. Just shows that the demons don’t discriminate. 😔

Scared

Easter was 👎. Low mood decided to get worse. I just honestly feel like there isn’t anything for me in life, I’m not talented, gifted or smart. I’m a waste of space. I’m bored 😐 but crippled under depression and illness. I’m tired of being this way. I don’t know how to change things. I’m lonely but in the end everyone leaves, always. I’m on a tightrope of emotions, one slip and I’m falling lower again and again. Honestly, I’m not happy. Not be a long shot. But I don’t know how to change that. 

I don’t know how to break this sadness. I’m just existing not living. I’ve no motivation for anything, just sleeping the days away. I don’t know how to change and that scares me. 

Struggling 

I’m not living just existing.. I worked so hard and nothing became of it so I started my own business about 5 years ago, it does ok but I can’t live off it. I feel like I could have everything together. I still live at home with my parents, I don’t have any family, I’m single, 30, no kids, no career, no house or car etc. My health is shit… What do I have to show for my life?

End

I’m struggling so much right now… really having to stop myself from ending it…

I reached out on fb yesterday saying I couldn’t breathe… no one commented or messaged… apart from my parents, I have nothing to live for and that scares me.. currently in tears..

I’m hurting so bad ..

Reflection 

Just looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise my reflection… 😿😿😿😔😔😔

I can’t breathe. 

Ghost

How annoying is this… just had a good mood moment, felt more positive. Then out of nowhere I start to think about dying from DVT, and the benefits of being dead…I could travel the world as a ghost!! I shit you not!! Wtf is going on in my head?? Lol 😂 

Emotionally Empty 

Arghhhh grrrrrrr humph!!!!! Not a happy bunny… slept most of weekend and still feel like a bag of crap 😞 heads hurting too 😞 I don’t know how to change my life or get better, I’ve changed my diet so much as everyone said it’s diet but nothing’s changed, not even lost any weight… 😕 I’m utterly exhausted, fed up and emotionally empty. Wish I could just be normal. 

Friends 

How do you make genuine friends as an adult? 

I’m so lonely. 

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